The Relationship Between Grief and Addiction

Legacy Healing Center Blog

Many people in recovery from addiction might be mourning the loss of friends or family who succumbed to an overdose. Others may be experiencing grief from the loss of loved ones. Unfortunately, grief from losing someone to addiction can lead to substance abuse or worsen symptoms of an existing addiction. Those struggling with substance abuse and family members in the early stages of recovery may not consider the role grief plays in their experience. As a facility offering alcohol and drug rehabilitation, Legacy Healing Center explains the link between grief and addiction.

What Does Grief Mean?

Grief is mental or emotional suffering or distress caused by loss or regret. It most often refers to the feeling of sorrow from the death of a loved one. Grief is a strong emotion; it is sometimes overwhelming for people. These emotions can arise at any time in life, whether we are young or old.

The 7 Stages of Grief

American-Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first introduced the five stages of grief in 1969. Over time, these stages have been expanded to seven, providing a more detailed framework to understand the grieving process. While there is some debate about the exact structure of these stages, they offer valuable insights into how individuals cope with loss. Below, we explore each of the seven stages of grief and how addiction can both influence and be influenced by them.

1. Shock and Disbelief

When a person in recovery faces a loss, they may be overwhelmed by a rush of pent-up feelings due to the initial shock. If individuals have not fully dealt with previous trauma or grief, the intense shock could lead them to emotional paralysis, making it difficult to cope without turning to substances. For individuals with a history of addiction, this phase may seem like a reversion to the sense of numbness or disconnection they may have felt while using, which can feel recognizable yet detrimental.

During the shock phase, being unable to deal with the emotions of the loss might cause a brief separation from the actual world. Certain people who are in addiction treatment may choose to hide their feelings to protect themselves from feeling exposed, resorting to alcohol or drugs as a way to numb the emotions they are unwilling to confront. Addiction can impair decision-making and hinder emotional processing, making it challenging to confront the truth of the loss.

2. Denial

Denial is often a coping mechanism for both grief and addiction. In grief, denial serves as a protective shield against the pain of loss. However, in addiction, denial is also a central feature of the disorder. An individual in recovery may deny the impact of grief on their emotional state, refusing to acknowledge that the loss is affecting them. This denial can prevent them from seeking help or using healthy coping strategies, and instead, they may return to substances as a way of avoiding reality.

When grieving, people may also deny that their grief is leading them down a dangerous path of self-destruction. Denial can make people believe that they can handle their grief without assistance or that using substances will provide a quick solution, making it easier for grief to trigger a relapse. The person may not acknowledge that their emotions are directly linked to their substance use.

3. Anger

Anger is a powerful emotion that can be both a catalyst for and a response to addiction. In the context of grief, individuals may feel anger toward themselves, their loved ones, or the person they lost. Addiction can intensify this anger, as it often involves unresolved frustrations, feelings of shame, or guilt. For someone with an addiction, anger may become a trigger for relapse if it isn’t addressed in a healthy manner. They might turn to substances to numb or escape the intensity of their emotions.

When someone in grief feels anger, especially when the death was unexpected or caused by addiction, it can often exacerbate the individual’s feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness. The anger can fuel substance use as a way to lash out or suppress uncomfortable emotions. For someone in recovery, the anger tied to grief can increase the temptation to use drugs or alcohol, believing that they cannot cope with the pain without them.

4. Bargaining

People might negotiate agreements to undo or alter the loss during the bargaining phase. For an individual grappling with addiction, this phase may be characterized by feelings of guilt, self-blame, and a longing to change the past. If a person in recovery negotiates with their sorrow, they might believe that their addiction or previous actions caused the loss. This feeling of guilt may result in a need to compensate for previous errors, typically by resorting to unhealthy methods like using drugs to alleviate the remorse. Grieving may lead to bargaining with substances as well.

Suppose a person has faced loss, mainly due to addiction-related deaths. In that case, they may try to negotiate with themselves by using once to find comfort or temporarily coping before quitting. This way of thinking may easily result in a return to unhealthy behavior when trying to trade emotional pain for short-term solutions without considering the future effects.

5. Depression

Depression in grief is already challenging, but for someone in recovery, it can trigger deep despair and hopelessness. Addiction often goes hand-in-hand with depression, and people in recovery might feel overwhelmed by feelings of worthlessness, sadness, or isolation after a loss. The weight of grief combined with the depressive symptoms from addiction can push someone to seek solace in substances, worsening the depression and complicating the recovery process.

In grief, depression may be a natural response to the sadness, emptiness, and hopelessness that follow a loss. For someone in recovery, this intense feeling of depression can feel like a relapse in itself, as it may lead the individual to question their ability to maintain sobriety. In this state, a person might turn to substances as a temporary escape, thinking that they cannot handle the emotional weight of grief without it.

6. Acceptance and Hope

In the acceptance stage, individuals come to terms with their loss. However, addiction can hinder acceptance by perpetuating denial or preventing the person from fully processing their emotions. Someone in recovery may struggle to find true acceptance because the addiction still looms in the background, clouding their ability to heal. Without support or healthy coping mechanisms, the person may fail to embrace the finality of the loss and find true peace.

As someone in grief reaches acceptance, they may move forward in a healthier way, focusing on self-care and finding meaning in life again. This shift can help individuals in recovery reconnect with their sobriety and find hope for the future. For those in addiction recovery, this stage may also present a critical opportunity to strengthen their support network and rebuild their life without substances, using the grief experience to deepen their understanding of themselves and their recovery journey.

7. Processing Grief and Moving Forward

The final stage of grief often involves integrating the loss into one’s life and moving forward. Addiction can make it difficult to fully process grief, as substances might be used to avoid facing painful emotions. For someone in recovery, this stage is crucial. If they have not fully worked through their grief, it can resurface in cycles, undermining their long-term sobriety. Continued support, therapy, and healthy coping strategies are essential during this phase to avoid relapse.

As a person who is grieving progresses towards acceptance, they may eventually be able to manage their feelings and refrain from using substances to numb the pain. Nevertheless, the recovery journey is still in progress. For people recovering from addiction, experiencing grief can continue to be a significant aspect of their lives, leading to periods of vulnerability or loss down the line. Effectively managing sorrow enables them to remain dedicated to their healing journey and discourages substance use as a way to escape.

The Problem With Grief

Feelings of sadness are expected after the loss of a loved one, but unfortunately, some people do not know how to manage grief. With healthy coping skills, grief lasts for a relatively short period, after which a person returns to daily life while adjusting to the changes associated with the loss. On the other hand, some people may experience what is called “complicated grief,” which causes significant distress and difficulty with daily functioning. Complicated grief may be widespread among those who have lost someone to an overdose because unexpected death is one of the risk factors for this form of grief.

Effects of Drug Use on Grief

People often respond to loss with an initial period of shock or denial, then a period of sadness. As they accept the reality of the loss, people start to work through the emotional pain of grief, eventually resolving and coming to terms with the loss. When people use drugs to ease their grief, they often end up trading temporary peace for long-term suffering. Using substances can cause unresolved or complicated grief that can persist for years, locking people into a cycle of grief and addiction.

Can Grief Lead to Addiction?

Grief and addiction are so deeply linked that addressing someone’s grief is often a significant part of recovery from substance use disorders. For many people, a loss they could not accept set them on the path to addiction. Unfortunately, experiences of death and pain can lead many individuals to question their sobriety, triggering the urge to use drugs and alcohol again.

Managing Addiction and Grief at Legacy Healing Center

Grief and substance abuse often intertwine in ways that can profoundly impact mental health and recovery. At Legacy Healing Center, we understand the challenges of navigating these complex emotions and offer comprehensive rehab care to support you through every stage of healing. Our evidence-based therapies and compassionate care can help you develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage grief without turning to substances. For more insights and resources on this topic, we invite you to explore our blog or call us today to take the first step toward a healthier, more hopeful future.